Helping Your Child Adjust to Divorce   SERVICES



Dad and Toddler
It is very important when getting a divorce to keep the best interest of the child in mind. Children still need both parents and the following ideas may help you reduce the negative consequences of divorce on your children.


Concentrate on and balance the importance of the following:

  • Age appropriate communication and honesty with the children.
  • Understand that children need time to grieve the losses happening to them.
  • Let the children know that it is not their fault that their parents are divorcing.
  • Talk to the children together as a couple whenever possible, especially when making the announcement of a separation or divorce.
  • A child’s divorce adjustment process is directly related to how well their parent’s adjust.
  • A child’s divorce adjustment process is directly related to how well their parent’s adjust.
  • Let them be free to ask questions.
  • Help them to share and deal with their feelings about the divorce.
  • Keep the children out of adult conflict and out of the middle of disputes between the parents.
  • In a divorce, shared custody is best when both parents are willing to work hard and cooperate.
  • Discussing with your children how their lives will change after divorce.
  • Try to maintain a stable, predictable routine, especially for younger children.
  • Not using the children to take sides, act as spies or to deliver messages to the other parent.
  • Give the child permission during and after the divorce to love and respect the other parent.

Letting the children know that divorce is an adult decision, that you will not be getting back together, and that you are not divorcing them is of utmost importance. Love is a wonderful word, and showing the children how they are loved by both of you will always be comforting and nurturing to them.


Children will need emotional and practical help both during the divorce and afterwards. Developing a support network of family, friends, and community support will be very beneficial.

 

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